Mystery Of the Lost Latin Book

So this is new. This is actually a story I wrote when I was taking Latin in college. Yeah the main point of the story is true but of course I basically over exaggerated the entire story a little. Trying to make it seem all Sherlock Holmes ish.


The Mystery of the Lost Latin Book


We begin this tale on a frightful Thursday night when at around 10:00 a certain item had gone missing from the Bittle and Pazmino residence. The item of discussion is a Ms. Nicole Bittle’s Latin book for her Latin I class, which just happened to be the next morning. The suspects in questioning are a Ms. Eunice Pazmino, who is the housemate of the victim. A Ms. Tammy Bittle, who is the sister and housemate of our victim, and lastly there is a Ms. Erica Reardon a very close friend to our victim. All of these young and single ladies were around the scene of the crime at some point during that day. Our investigation begins about 10:00pm that Thursday night, but the story reigns throughout the entire day. We will begin in asking each of the suspects and the victim about the day’s events.
Here we introduce the Investigator who will discover the mystery behind the lost Latin Book. The Investigator is none other than the alter ego of the victim who likes to go by the name of a Ms. Mycah Carr. Ms. Carr is also the one conveying this tale to her audience (which happens to be you if you haven’t figured that out.). We shall start our questioning with the victim a Ms. Nicole Bittle.

-Ms. Carr, “Start from where and when you last saw the item in question, which is the Latin book of course.”

-Ms. Bittle, “Well….I had just bought it that afternoon after I finished my last class of that day….”

-Ms. Carr, “Wait! What did you just buy that afternoon?”

-Ms. Bittle, “Uh….the book….”

-Ms. Carr, “What book?”

-Ms. Bittle, “The Latin book…”

Narration: At this point in the conversation Ms. Bittle is thinking that I am a complete idiot and have no clue what I’m doing, but in fact I do know what I am doing which is why I say what I say next.

-Ms. Carr, “Ms. Bittle I would highly appreciate it if you would give me every detail of the story because I don’t know what “it” is. For all I know it could be another book, so would you please remember to tell me every detail and fact of this story so I will be able to do a complete analysis of the entire day. This is the only way I will be able to solve this mystery.”

-Ms. Bittle, “Okay…..I guess I can do that…”

-Ms. Carr, “Good now let’s continue, where did you buy the Latin book? With whom were you with? What time of the day was this at?”

-Ms. Bittle, “I bought it in the Lifeway Store in the Ledford center on Southeastern’s campus. I was with my sister Tammy and my housemate and friend Eunice. Bittle and Pazmino are their last names just so you won’t think it’s another Tammy and Eunice. It was around 3:30 in the afternoon.”

-Ms. Carr, “Good, now what happened next?”

-Ms. Bittle, “Well….we got into the car and I took the Latin book out of the Lifeway bag that it was in because for new books I just love to look through them randomly, it’s a weird obsession I know. But I always do that. Then we went to Arby’s drive-thru, at least I think it was Arby’s not quite sure? But we were hungry and needed food before we wasted away into nothingness. Anyways we got one of those stupid cardboard drink holders from them and I put that on top of my Latin book…”

-Ms. Carr, “Didn’t you think that would be bad for the book’s cover?”

Ms. Bittle, “Not really… I usually don’t care about school books that much.”

Ms. Carr, “ Aha! So you admit to me that you didn’t care enough for your Latin book. So maybe because you don’t care about it you had the tendency to neglect it. It probably felt unwanted and did this to you because of your negligence because you only wanted the poor thing when it was necessary for you to get your work done.”

-Ms. Bittle, “That’s not all true….I did tell you I took it out of the bag so I could have a special moment with it, but when my sister mentioned food that was all I thought about in the next couple of moments.”

-Ms. Carr, “Aha! Aha! So your older sister, whom everyone mentions to be an angel, assisted in your negligence of your Latin book. So both of you could be the culprits and are in this together. You and your lovely sister did this so you wouldn’t be able to finish your homework for your class and you could tell your professor this and get another week before you had to turn it in! So you probably had your sister, who every thinks an innocent lovely girl, do all of the dirty work. She hid your book and didn’t tell you where it is so in a way you aren’t lying when you tell your professor you have no clue where it is!”

Narration: At this time Ms. Bittle took out her hankie and started wailing into it and mumbling words to which I couldn’t understand so for the time being I did not want to push Ms. Bittle any further. For she could’ve been crying for two reasons. One she could have been crying out of guilt for doing such a horrible crime, or she could be innocent but see that she had made a mistake in neglecting her poor little Latin Book. I figured that the next person that I should question was the one mentioned in Ms. Bittle’s story. That would be a Ms. Tammy Bittle, sister of the victim and most likely could be the assistant perpetrator in this horrible crime. We will find out the truth about the sister whom everyone believes is an innocent angel. Here is where we find out if Ms. Tammy Bittle is the angel everyone claims she is or is there a monster hidden beneath that angelic exterior.

(Tammy Bittle enters the room all dressed in white with white gloves and gold jewelry with a straw hat upon her head. The perfect look of an innocent angel)

-Ms. Carr, “So Ms. Bittle I just questioned your sister and I figured that I should pick you next to question because of something she said.”

-Ms. Bittle, “ Why! Oh my! Whatever did she say to you?”

Narration: Let’s just say she said this phrase in one of the most innocent voices a human being can come up with on the planet. Almost like a little school girl who has never done anything bad in her life. But of course I smelt something fishy on the spot, and it wasn’t the fish sticks being cooked in the oven for dinner.

-Ms. Carr, “Uh hum…. Well I really can’t tell you what she said. But to continue with the questioning, you were with your sister when she bought the Latin book?”

-Ms. Bittle, “Well…yes by the way I was with poor Nickey when she bought that wonderful little sunspot of a book.”

-Ms. Carr, “ Okay?.......So that was around 3:30 in the afternoon and after that you went to Arby’s drive-thru? Is that right?”

-Ms. Bittle, “Why yes Ms. Carr that is correct. I even suggested getting a bite to eat so we could have some energy for the continuation of the day.”

Narration: Here Ms. Bittle changed her way of talking. She sounded like a Southern Belle which I thought was weird since she is from the north. Also my suspicion of Ms. Bittle hiding her true side with an angelic exterior was in a way confirmed, so I figured it was now time for the beat down to see how innocent this angelic sister really was.

-Ms. Carr, “Ms. Bittle you seemed surprise when I told you that your sister told me something about you, and to tell the truth it wasn’t a shocked surprise. It seemed more like you knew she would say something about you, like if you knew she might blame you for something. Why is this?”

-Ms. Bittle, “Well! My dear Investigator I didn’t want to be the one to inform you about this but poor Nickey is what you would call the black sheep of our family. She tends to blame things on others and also she seems good on the outside but is really quite rebellious on the inside.”

Ms. Carr, “Ms. Bittle I have a question for you? Why did you change your accent into a Southern Belle’s when you are from the north? Could it because you couldn’t remember how to keep your first accent? Or is it because your first accent is not the way you talk for real?”

(At this time Ms. Bittle stands from her seat and puts on the act of being offended).

-Ms. Bittle, “Why me? How could you say such a horrible thing?”

Narration: Before I asked this question I knew she would act in the way she did and so I asked one of the police officers helping me, to get a glass of water for Ms. Bittle and in a whisper I told him to put some castor oil in it, and told him to make sure he used a dark cup so it wouldn’t show up in the glass. So because Ms. Bittle had fallen into my trap, now I could hear what her real voice sounded like. I calmed Ms. Bittle down because she had started to gasp and roll her eyes as though she was about to faint.

(Tammy sits back down after being calmed and grabs for the water, still she continues to gasp for air and then she takes a couple of little sips out of the cup).

Ms. Carr, “I’ am deeply sorry Ms. Bittle, I did not wish to offend. But I do have one last question why do you think your sister is the black sheep of your family?”

Narration: At this time Tammy Bittle looks at me with widened eyes for I believe she finally realizes that there was something that had been put into her water. I could see her mind working. She knew that if she opened her mouth to speak her façade would be revealed, but in a way she couldn’t stay quiet for much longer. I also thought I saw the thought cross her mind that if she pretended to pass out right now maybe that would work. But I wouldn’t let her.

-Ms. Carr, “So do you have a problem with your voice? I think that you are not the angel that everyone claims and if you open your mouth in this moment this would be confirmed. I think in fact you are the culprit behind the missing Latin book. You don’t like the way other’s view your sister do you? In fact you hate that she’s so outgoing and she makes friends off the bat, don’t you? So you saw her little “sunspot” of a Latin Book sitting around and you hid it, didn’t you?”

Narration: At this time Tammy is flushed red and is getting angrier by the moment. Until finally after I finished my phrase she stood up with eyes flaring and fists clenched by her side.

-Ms. Bittle, “That is not true!!!”

Narration: Tammy’s voice was completely opposite of what she had come in with. It was much deeper in fact.

-Ms. Carr, “Aha! So your voice isn’t really like those two fake ones you gave me earlier. So this does confirm my suspicions about you not being the little angel everyone says you are! So tell me why you did do all of this? Why’d you hid your sister’s book?”

Narration: At the end of this statement the little angelic princess stood up knocking her chair down and tearing off the bottom of her pretty white dress. She also ripped off her lovely hat and white gloves and started jumping up down on top of the little pile of things. Of course I was a little terrified but also I was trying not to laugh my head off because the scene was quite a mess and very humorous.

-Ms. Carr, “Miss, by your actions it seems I was right in all my theories about you and I think I should now call my officers to come and take you to the county jail!”

(At this Tammy stops her pouncing and looks at Investigator Carr with a very serious face).

-Ms. Crazy Bittle, “I did not take the stupid Latin book. Oh boy did I want to though! I even planned on doing it! I hate my sister and the way she can make so many friends, and even with my little façade I could never get half as many friends as her! I was going to steal the book and grab a knife and shred it to pieces, but someone got to it before I did! It’s stupid I would’ve made her grade in that class go down. I hate it! Hate it! Hate it!”

Narration: By this time I got my police officers to take Ms. Tammy Bittle out of the room and out of the house. Even though she wasn’t the culprit I think she needed to go to a nuthouse anyways. So I sent her there. Also because of Tammy Bittle’s confession I realized that the victim was innocent and even though Tammy was innocent of this crime if she was left in this house she might have done a higher crime. Like stealing and hiding all of Miss Nicole’s possessions. The next person that I thought would be great to question was the Ms. Erica Reardon. I had to choose between either her or Eunice Pazmino and since I didn’t have a lead like with Tammy from Nickey. I decided to go for Ms. Reardon, who was not a member of the household and I also thought I might need a break from how messed up this household really is.

(Erica Reardon enters the room with a simple T-shirt and jean Capri’s, hair up in a ponytail).

-Ms. Carr, “Hello Miss Reardon. I just want to ask you a couple of questions? Is this okay with you?”

-Ms. Reardon, “Yes, that’s fine. I want to help in any way possible.”

Narration: At these words I knew from right there that Ms. Reardon was a genuinly sweet person by nature. Sure she probably had a wild side but nothing like Tammy and she didn’t seem to hide her nature at all. She must not be the culprit I believe she is one of those rare good people who if they accidently walk out with a pen that’s not theirs they will turn around, no matter how far away from the place they are, and give the pen back. So I just had one question to ask her and I knew that she wasn’t the one to have stolen the Latin book. But being the person I am I of course had to drag things out.

-Ms Carr, “Why are you here at the residence tonight at this particular time?”

-Ms. Reardon, “Well I am in the Latin class as well, and we three, Nickey, Eunice, and I, decided to get together to study.”

Narration: Then I asked her the final question that I needed to.

-Ms. Carr, “Miss Reardon, please answer this question honestly. Did you take Miss Bittle’s Latin book, or have you seen it around the apartment at all.”

-Ms. Reardon, “I don’t remember seeing it anywhere in the house and I haven’t taken the Latin book.”

Narration: I had no further questions and so I let Miss Reardon go back into Eunice’s room which is where those two suspects were, and the victim and Tammy were waiting in their room that they shared, but of course at this time Ms. Nicole was the only one in that room. I did all of my questioning in the living room. I was just about to ask the police officer to go get Eunice Pazmino when Ms. Nicole came into the room.

-Ms. Bittle, “I came here to finish my questioning. I do realize I was wrong in neglecting my Latin book in a time of hunger. I should have watched over it better. But anyways I know for a fact that I had brought both my Latin book and the stupid cardboard drink holder inside the house. Because I had the drink holder on top, and I put both on the counter than I turned to go into the living room and I don’t remember anything else.”

-Ms. Carr, “I do realize you are not the culprit, and I thank you for this information because now we know where the Latin book was last. We must do some searching.”

Narration: So after a really long time of searching, about an hour or so, we came up with nothing. No Latin book in the living room, not in the kitchen, not in the bedrooms, and definitely not in the trash cans or in the fridge or freezer. You must keep all your options open when searching for something. So because the search ended badly I only had one choice, and that was to continue my questioning. Miss Eunice Pazmino is from the country of Ecuador. She came to America because of her family, and she not only speaks perfect English but some French. Her native tongue of course is the wonderful language of Spanish. Well I started my questioning as I always do with people from Latin America.

-Ms. Carr, “Cigar?”

-Ms. Pazmino, “No?.....I don’t smoke?...”

-Ms. Carr, “Oh good cuz neither do I. Okay. Well do you remember when Miss Bittle last had her Latin Book?”

Ms. Pazmino, “Yes, actually the last time I saw it was in the car.”

Ms. Carr, “Do you know that Miss Nicole said the last time she had it was inside the house?”

Ms. Pazmino, “That’s what she told me and of course I believe her but I just wanted to view it through every perspective.”

-Ms. Carr, “Miss Pazmino, do you like living together with your friend and her sister?”

-Ms. Pazmino, “I like it very much, although Tammy could use a little work.”

-Ms. Carr, “So you don’t secretly hate Miss Nicole and wished her to get a bad grade in the Latin class? Because I think since you’re in the same class you want to get the higher grade and you think that Miss Nicole would jeopardize that possibility, because I’ve seen that you are a straight A student and Miss Nicole is not far behind you. So you took her book so she would get a bad grade!”

-Ms. Pazmino, “Never! And all your stupid theories are wrong, I think of Nickey as a sister and you can just leave our house if you’re going to talk like that. We never needed this in the first place because we can always figure things out on our own…….”

Narration: At this moment in Miss Pazmino’s very upset statement, which I believed was true and from the heart the moment she opened her mouth, came rushing in the room Erica and Nickey laughing their heads off, and trying to tell us something, but because of their laughter it was kind of hard to catch what they were saying. So I told them to stop and just tell us what it was. Erica then conveyed this tale to us.

-Ms. Reardon, “I was sitting in Eunice’s room and Nickey came in and she was really worried and she was saying things like ‘What will I do tomorrow?’ ‘This is just my luck I buy a book and it goes missing the next couple of hours.’ ‘I’ve looked everywhere and all I can think is that maybe the rapture for Latin books came and mine went up while yours were left behind.’ So I was worried for her and then I looked down at my Latin book and saw a dog eared page and I thought ‘I didn’t do that.’ Then I looked over to my right and saw my bag and saw something in my bag. So while Nickey was in mid-sentence I yelled loudly ‘Wait! Stop! Stop! I have your book.’”

So the case came to an end and all the while Miss Erica Reardon was the culprit. It was a complete accident and she just saw it on the couch and took it without thinking. So to continue no one was arrested and the Latin book was found and in fact Miss Nicole Bittle studied well that night and happened to get a 100 on the quiz that next day. So the mystery behind the lost Latin book was solved, all the suspects who were innocent were let free, and for once there was not a culprit in this case. Although one of the suspects did end up in the nuthouse, and from what I hear she’s doing really well and should be allowed visitor’s soon. So all of my hard work paid off, although not in a way I expected, but in the end this case was one of the better ones that any Investigator can have. To have no culprit and not have any bad guy to put in jail even though it was a waste of my good talents, but in the end it was a good day. Or night. So here ends the mystery of the lost Latin book.

Credits:
Ms. Nicole Bittle played by Nicole Bittle
Ms. Tammy Bittle played by Tammy Bittle
Ms. Eunice Pazmino played by Eunice Pazmino
Ms. Erica Reardon played by Erica Reardon
And Ms. Mycah Carr played by the alter ego of Nicole Bittle

Afterwards:
Hi! This is Nickey Bittle! I really don’t have an alter ego, but then again that’s what they all say right. But anyways I just wish to inform you that no matter how wacked out this story may be there are many parts of it that are true. No, the part about Tammy is all made up. But in the end the outcome was the same. Because the person you expect the least to take your Latin book away from you, actually did. Yes, Erica took it and the end part where she tells the story of why her and Nickey are laughing is true too, although Eunice was in the room as well. But anyways……Erica you stole my Latin book and I’ll never let you off for doing that not only because it’s hilarious and you can be so blonde sometimes, but also because without you this whole Sherlock Holmes’s mystery wouldn’t have come to life. I hope you people who read this will laugh as much as I did when I wrote it.