Monday, August 30, 2010

Book of Sorrows: poem five

Once hoped happiness:

When my life is close to the pearls of happiness,
My hand a width away from touching them,
But they always seem to break as soon as I lay,
A finger upon them,
Not a word said about them anymore and not a word left again to say,
Why not just throw away this once hoped happiness?

New friends I make and new relationships come my way,
My heart is filled with the joy of happiness,
The joy I feel at first may be small,
But then it grows stronger and I think it will not sway,
When It comes to the point where I think I can now fly,
Some dreadful thing comes back to my heart so sly,
That once lasting joy just seems to drop and fall,
Why not throw away this once hoped happiness?

I feel like I belong in this place,
And think there is no other place safer,
But I am blinded in this place and cannot see,
Even though I may belong in their group; it is not in full,
And the feeling of belonging turns around and says later,
Then the tears in my heart start briming; and become an overflow,
Why, and how, could this ever be?
I thought I had belonged, but now I had this face,
Why not just throw away that once hope of happiness,
Did I ever even have it?
Or has it only been sought for?

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